Where does the name "Timoni" come from?

My mom made up my name. She got the name "Timon" from the Bible, specifically this verse:

This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism.

Exciting, I know. Anyway, she liked "Timon," and added the "i" to make the name feminine.

How do you pronounce it?

"TIM-uh-nee". Rhymes with "jiminy" or "chimney". Does not rhyme with macaroni.

Does anybody ever call you...

If you just said T-Money, Tims, Tim, T$, Timonium, or "tim-OH-nee," then yes. If you started singing "Chim Chim Cheree", that has also been done. If you rhymed my name with an Italian food, that has also been done.

Have you ever met anybody else named Timoni?

Nope. Facebook tells me there are some other Timonis out there, and apparently Timoni is more often a last name. There is also a Port Timoni in Greece. But Timon is much more common. Famous Timons: the lesser-known Shakespearean play, Timon of Athens ("one of his most obscure and difficult works"!), and the much more widely known Timon of Timon and Pumba.

Do people ever spell or pronounce your name correctly on the first try?

Very, very rarely. Like one out of every hundred times.

Have you heard of Mary Timony?

Yes.

She doesn't spell her name the same way, though, does she?

No, she doesn't.

Did you change your last name from "Grone" to "West"?

Yes.

Why?

1. Life's too short to be called "tim-OH-nee groan" all the time. (It's pronounced groan-ee, by the way.)
2. It's not my original last name anyway. My original last name was Neustrom. (My stepdad adopted me when I was six. I'm still close with my biological father; my mom just wanted us to all have the same last name.)
3. When I was fifteen or sixteen I decided that if I wasn't married by the time I was thirty, I'd change my name anyway, because of reason (1).
4. You must admit that, pronounced "groan-ee" or "groan", it's still not a great last name.
5. I'm sort of willing to put up with spelling "Timoni" over and over, and dealing with the constant mispronunciations, because it's a unique first name and a good brand. "Grone", however, is not worth the trouble.

Why did you pick West?

I'd been thinking of various new last names most of my life, and been seriously thinking about them for a year. Nothing seemed quite right. Then, over Fourth of July weekend, in a crowded car, some friends helped me brainstorm new last names. I knew I wanted something with a W (to snuggle nicely with the "M" in my middle name). When somebody said "West," we all knew that was it.

So now you're like Adam West or Kanye...

Yes, yes.

Is changing your name a pain?

Depends on where you are. In San Francisco, the initial part isn't so bad. You have to fill out five nearly identical forms and pay $370, then go over to the Recorder and pay another $45 to have your name change published for four weeks in a row. But really, the whole process only took about an hour and a half, including filling out the forms.

But then: you have to go to a court hearing eight weeks after the initial paper filing. After that, you have to change your identification, financial, and other legal items. You also have to change your online profiles, but those are easy.